Don Aslett responds to Pocatello’s Dirtiest City in the U.S. award

3 Nov

Don Aslett, the King of Clean, thinks the ranking is dumb. See those cleaning products next to him? Yeah, he knows what he's talking about. (photo via Aslett.com)

If you didn’t hear, Pocatello was named the dirtiest city in the nation by Alice.com, an online cleaning supply marketplace. As it turns out, the cleanest and dirtiest city rankings were determined by how much each city spends on cleaning supplies. It’s all very scientific. In response, Pocatello’s own Don Aslett, the “King of Clean” and owner of the soon-to-be-open Museum of Clean in town, had a few words to say:

I haven’t heard anything more politically illogical.

That is like saying that Pocatello has the ugliest women in the USA because they buy less make-up, or Pocatelloans are less holy because we buy fewer Holy Bibles, or we don’t have as much fun because we buy fewer drugs.

In a winning debate (Idaho State won Harvard the year I was on the team), we would argue that the town that bought the most cleaning supplies was probably the dirtiest—they needed it the most. And that those who buy fewer cleaning supplies mean they know how to clean up after themselves and they live cleaner. The environmentally conscious waste less, so they buy less; we buy concentrates from professional cleaning companies like Hansen’s and my own Cleaning Center, that cost less but still get the job done.

Pocatello has the only Museum of Clean in the world and I’ve written more than 30 books on cleaning for all the rest of the world to learn from.

Truth be told, we have the most beautiful women in the country, we’re holy people, and our community is cohesive. The way I see it, Pocatello, like cleanliness, is next to Godliness.

So there you have it, folks! If the King of Clean poo-poos on the rankings, then they must be unjust! Let’s all forget about stupid Alice.com and continue to clean with our vinegar and baking soda/concentrates/not clean at all. It’s a free country!

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4 Responses to “Don Aslett responds to Pocatello’s Dirtiest City in the U.S. award”

  1. Tana Christensen 11/03/2011 at 8:07 pm #

    I am so relieved I am not the only one to see this study as completely illogical and backwards. Mr. Haslett, you are absolutely correct. We also have the worlds finest gentlemen in the U.S. Let them believe we are dirty. If the world knew how incredible thus town was, they would all want to live here! God bless.

    • Tana Christensen 11/03/2011 at 8:09 pm #

      Mr. Aslett–I meant. Although we are clean, we still (at least I do) suffer from not-so-smart smart phones that think they know what you meant regardless of what you entered…

  2. redqueen67 11/03/2011 at 10:59 pm #

    Idaho State won Harvard??????!!!!!! wow, what a prize! I didn’t know you got to take home the university if you BEAT them.

    • AntiGrammarBullies 11/04/2011 at 10:38 am #

      Congratulations! You possess grammar skills adequate enough to make you believe you should correct others (who have not requested such assistance).
      One day soon, perhaps you will add punctuation competence and good manners to your impressive list of qualities.

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