[Morning Briefs] Start Your Day With A Helping of Depressing Crime!

8 Dec

Meet Ricky Rodriguez, the face of today's depressing morning briefs. Gosh, even looking into those hollow eyes is painful.

Sometimes, these Morning Briefs are amusing and enjoyable! Other days, they’re downright terrifying and horrible. I hope you’re in the mood for more of the latter! Gosh, I’m actually kind of sorry for hitting you with this so early in the morning. I don’t mean to, baby, but the news is an uncontrollable beast! You know I’m not that kind of guy! Well check out the depressing briefs and try to forgive me later.

  • New Year’s Day is coming up, meaning it’s time for everybody to start brainstorming their resolutions! Ricky Rodriguez, a 29-year-old Pocatello man, is probably wishing his 2011 resolution had been to stop creepily harassing his estranged wife. Now, Rodriguez is in jail for felony stalking and disorderly conduct. What exactly did he do to deserve that? Pocatello Police Lt. Paul Manning wasn’t at liberty to say much, but he broke down the basics: “It has to do with sending repeated text messages to his estranged wife, and then trying to remove their son from their school without permission.” Come on, Ricky! Oh well, there’s always 2012 to give it another shot.
  • In case that felony stalking wasn’t creepy enough, the Idaho Falls Police department arrested 45-year-old Vern Allen Hansen yesterday for rape and lewd conduct with a child, both felony charges. Police said they recieved information that Hansen had been engaged in inappropriate conduct with a young girl since 2009. That’s right, two years ago. Fortunately Hansen is booked in the Bonneville County Jail, where he can’t be an alleged horrifying monster child rapist any more.
  • Pocatello Police have been looking for a burglar who stole a bunch of medication from an east side Pocatello home for a while now, and it looks like they have their woman! That’s right, police have issued a felony summons for burglary to 26-year-old Amanda Gardner. They didn’t have to look very far to find Gardner, as she was already incarcerated for unrelated charges. I might be alone on this, but given her present life choices, maybe she could use some medications? Just a thought.
  • If I decided to live a life of crime, and got some kind of cool burglar nickname, I’d probably like something cooler than The Flower Shop Burglar. Alas, Alexander Moses, 20, of Idaho Falls, has been crowned with this unfortunate title after stealing cash and “other items” (flowers for his girl, I hope) from Flowers at the Falls in Idaho Falls at least twice in the last few months. He’s now booked at the Bonneville County Jail for two counts of burglary, but more importantly he’s booked into history for the world’s lamest burglaries.
  • In case you didn’t hear Boise State football has decided to leave the Western Athletic Conference for the Big East. It means a more competitive schedule and maybe some more marquee games, but an Idaho team in the Big East? Well that’s just confusing.

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