[Morning Briefs] Everybody’s Broke and the World is Cruel

9 Dec

Even those birds are all like "Oh no, we hate this place. That's why we make a concerted effort to poop all over it."

Look, nobody has money these days. I don’t have money, you don’t have money, nobody has it. But that doesn’t mean the world has to be all “Exxxxcellent! I’ll take this opportunity to make sure you have even LESS moneyyyy!” But we don’t control the world, you guys, and as it spins out of control, it tries to spin even more money out of our hard-working hands. Sometimes it’s our own damn fault! But most of the time, I like to think, it’s everybody else’s fault. Right? Right.

  • The Homeless and Housing Coalition approached the Pocatello City Council last night to do something about all those annoying pay day loan places around town! Coalition member Brenda Pollard told Local News 8 that people end up not being able to qualify for government programs and grants because they have so many loans out with pay day lenders. These poor folks end up paying ridiculous renewal fees and interest rates of up to 400 percent. City Council member Jim Johnston is on board with possibly regulating how many lenders can be in town, because we currently have 75 in Pocatello alone! That seems like a lot! But can Pocatello fight the enormous loan sharks? As Roy Scheider once said in Jaws: “We’re gonna need a bigger [pay day loan regulation system].” [LN8]
  • Double L Manufacturing, a company that creates harvesters and planters for potato farming, has decided to pull out of American Falls, delivering a huge blow to Power county residents who have been relying on Double L as a major source of jobs. The blow is especially harsh, as it comes on the heels of Simplot’s decision to leave the county as well. The company didn’t leave due to overregulation or a bad economy, they simply outgrew the town. Now Power County is hoping to entice, say, another company that creates harvesters and planters for potato farming? Do those exist? Maybe a water park? A yogurt factory? They’ll figure out something. [LN8]
  • Idaho Falls Police arrested Terry L. Simonsen of Roberts on Tursday afternoon, for felony vandalism and malicious injury to property. What does one have to do to get a felony charge for vandalism, you ask? Simple, you go crazy on somebody’s car. Simonsen decided to bust the hell out of a truck parked in the 200 block of North Fanning Avenue on Nov. 20, doing a total of $1,800 in damage. The worst part is that she actually got away with it! Girl turned herself in yesterday, probably because she felt terrible about doing a terrible thing. Let this be a lesson to all you Carrie Underwood fans: You can’t take a Louisville slugger to both headlights without feeling super guilty about it later.
  • A rare lunar eclipse is coming to town and everybody better watch it because it’s super rare and super awesome. Ok, it’s going to happen Saturday at 7:06 a.m. but hear me out! It’s worth getting up early to see because these things don’t happen often. If you miss it, you’ll have to wait until April 2014 to see another total lunar eclipse! Don’t you want to see the majesty? Isn’t it worth setting an early-morning Saturday alarm for? No, I probably won’t be awake either. [BW]

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